Today I lost it over a chip clip

The boys have been testing me lately and I'm afraid I keep failing.  They are having issues with listening and following directions.  They push.  And I explode.  Like a nuclear bomb.  Taking out everything in my wake.  It's not good.  I keep praying to the Holy Spirit to give me patience, but I think I need to pray more.

I started off my day dropping off at school and going for a 3 mile hike in the Metroparks.  I don't usually hike by myself in the woods (I watch WAY too much Criminal Minds to feel comfortable being alone... in the woods... in a park...).  But I hiked it because I was helping my husband come up with a 3 mile hiking path that he could use for Cub Scouts.  I thoroughly enjoyed my hike and being in nature on such a beautiful fall morning calmed me.  It was absolutely glorious.

But this afternoon I picked the boys up from school and all the calmness went out the window.  As soon as they get in the car the chaos begins.  There's yelling, fighting, hitting, and talking over each other.  I always try to give each boy ample time to tell me about his day and all the the anecdotes that are so important to him.  But they seem to be in constant competition and this ends in a melee.

After my hike I stopped to run errands (no shower, no makeup... I apologize to the people of that store.  They deserved better).  I picked up a number of items that were needed and I also picked up an extra set of  chip clips.  Chip clips, you say? ... Yes.  I usually use large paper clips to keep chips, crackers, etc. fresh, but I found a cheap set of 3 chip clips for $2.99 and picked them up because the kids broke all our other ones.  They play with them by opening them repeatedly and then the spring snaps.  And what did the Little Man do as soon as he walked in the door?  He spied those chip clips and immediately started playing with one.  I said to him "Put it down.  It's not a toy.  If you keep doing that it's going to break".  And did he listen?  NO.  Did he break it?  Yes.

Now this is NOT really about a cheap chip clip.  It's one more example of one of them not listening and an adverse reaction happened.  I worry that one day I will tell them not to do something that could hurt them and they'll do it any way and something really dreadful will happen.  Luckily today was not that day, but I E.X.P.L.O.D.E.D over that broken chip clip.  In fact that child is up in his room, punished, right now.  It's not about the chip clip.  It's about the not listening.  But does he know that?  I'm not sure.

When someone goes completely bonkers and starts ranting and raving do you always understand what they are saying?  I know I don't.  So maybe the problem isn't really that they aren't listening.  Maybe it's that I'm not coherent enough for them to understand me.  Maybe when I start screaming like a maniac, they tune out.  I know that if someone did that to me, I'd tune out.

I think that's what the chip clip taught me today.  It's not them.  It's me.  I need to keep praying to the Holy Spirit for patience.  And I think I also need to pray for less of a temper and a quieter voice.  Maybe then they'll hear me and start listening.