RSVP/R.s.v.p. "Répondez s'il vous plaît". It's French for Please Reply. It's a verb that means "please respond to this invitation". Sometimes there is a date that says RSVP by June 20. And the person may put a phone number, email address or both.
It means that the person sending the invitation is asking YOU the receiver to respond by a certain date so that the sender (usually the person planning the party) will know how many people to expect. Some times said party planner needs to know how much food to prepare or sometimes said party planner needs to give a head count to the party place because she is paying by the number of people (15,20,25, etc...).
It's polite to call on or by the date given on the RSVP line. I'll even accept on that date "ish". If you're within 3 days of the date, you're good. I know people get busy...
But it's not an option. When someone asks for R.s.v.p., it's because it's necessary and it's impolite not to respond. You are basically saying A. I am more important than you, and you and your party (or childs party depending on the case) is just not on my radar or B. I don't like you so you can just kiss my _____ (pick appropriate word and insert here).
Since it's my baby's 6th birthday, I'm hoping that it's A or that if it's B that I'm the one that they are telling to kiss something. But in case they don't realize it, it does come off reflecting on my son. It's his party. So he's the one that you are really ignoring.
The stress that it causes when 8 out of 19 people haven't R.s.v.p.'d is pretty undue. I know I am going to pay for kids that aren't going to show (or get stuck paying double for the ones that do and don't call). I still have a few days left but I had to give my final count yesterday. I really hope that 5 more kids show up. Maybe everybody is on vacation? Maybe the invite got lost in the mail? Maybe we've just lost all of our manners today.
For more rules of the R.s.v.p. etiquette see:
Proper Invitations, Acceptance, and Regret from Emily Post (1922)
Understanding the R.s.v.p. Etiquette from Stefanie Van Aken
7 comments:
I understand your frustration. I had several people call me the day OF my son's party. Not much help when you're trying to prepare. Especially if you're trying to know how many to pay for. I hope it all works out and that your son has a great party.
Ah, yes. The non-RSVP. Argh.
It really is a lost art. Maybe instead of RSVP, we should write:
"Give me a call and let me know if you are coming, or your kid will have nothing to eat at the party. And no party bag for him either. Thanks."
:)
You are soooo right. People just ignore RSVPs these days. It's an epidemic. My suggestion -- split the no-responds in two for your official count. If five or six haven't responded then go with 3 extra.
nice to know you, and glad to find such a good artical!......................................................................
Pen and ink is wits plough. .................................................................
I'm going to plead guilty. I have (at least on one occasion) not RSVP'd because I dithered back and forth on whether I was going to try to take my son to a bday party at an extremely allergy unfriendly location. (Chuck E. Cheese, if I remember right. All the games in the place have coating a pizza grease from the previous kids.)
Eventually I decided not to take him, then realized the RSVP date was well past.
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